Working Aligned-er, Not Harder.
I am a person who chronically has a lot of things going on, professionally and with my volunteer life. I am very careful not to say it’s “too much” because I don’t have trouble saying no. I am genuinely interested in exploring all of the areas of my life and business. I’m also not afraid to know when it is time for something to come to an end.
Throughout the many, many hats & few careers I’ve had over the last 20 years, the biggest indicator that it’s time to move on boils down to one thing: is it aligned with my life as it currently stands?
I won’t bore you with my full resume, but a few examples are applicable here. My first big-kid job out of college was working with the county extension service. I loved my job, but I was driving 1.5 hours each day. Then, I had my first baby. I moved to an office closer to my house, but the job—more specifically, the hours—were not conducive to having a baby at home.
A more dramatic example—I’m not even ready to share all of this one yet… After 8 years as a mortgage lender, my body was physically and mentally at its wits’ end. After 8 years of being available almost 24/7 for customers, my logical mind wouldn’t let go, so my body and mental health did it for me.
As I reflect on what I’m doing now—if you make a list of my monthly and weekly obligations, it seems bananas. However, it is aligned to my life and the areas are aligned to each other. It flows. It complements. One makes the others easier.
As much as I’m still working towards other goals and things I’d like, I have to stop and think sometimes about the ways life is exactly as I want it to be.
Here are some quick check-in questions to tune into alignment. These can be applied to work, business, hobbies, relationships, etc.
Taking out some of the “have-tos” of life (mammograms, oil changes, kids’ band concerts) is your schedule something that you like?
Do I generally look forward to <insert activity/person>?
Do I have any physical symptoms related to stress? Am I able to lessen the stress?
What am I being drawn towards in my life? Can I start to expand and make time for those things?
Does life feel like a hamster wheel?
Is _________ really providing me with <insert what you need here (money, happiness, etc)>?
Are there important things like kids, family, or health that I am having to ignore because of this?
Let me give you a few examples to think of here:
Schedule—do you work best at a certain time of day or in a certain place? Are the annoyances in your schedule time-specific? An example of this: Daycare drop off— as much as it stinks, daycare isn’t forever for kiddos. Do you need or get the flexibility for appointments and needs outside of your work?
Looking forward to things: pretty self-explanatory, but think about Sundays. Do you look forward to the week or dread it?
Stress/Physical symptoms- Be honest with yourself—do you have a constant belly ache or headache? Do you sleep well? There is nothing as annoying as someone saying “just reduce stress,” but are there plans ahead or work arounds you can do?
What you’re drawn towards: do you want to paint? get up at 5 am? what is it and how can you start to do it?
Hamster wheels are no good—what can you do to shake it up?
Getting what you need: Be honest. An example I have is a friend who was very annoyed at a group she volunteers with. I put on my coach hat and asked her “are you really getting business from this?” Turns out, she was, so it was worth it for her.
What am I ignoring? I don’t mean the “I should work out more” or “I occasionally scroll my phone when my kids are present.” This is the deep stuff. Are you needing to start attending doctor appts with parents? Have you missed every band concert this year? Do you have a mole you’ve needed to have looked at for 24 months?
When we start to dig deeper, the alignment makes itself loud & clear. It takes time, it takes work. But, it’s so worth it in the end.
-Laura
